Emotional Detachment.  Eliminating personal stakes. How would these two intentions for living change your life?

It’s simple. It’s about making choices for YOU and you alone.   And accepting that what is manifested and created is for YOU and you alone.  We can understand it in theory and intellectually, but what does it mean to live this way? To BE this way? To FEEL this?

Well, firstly, let’s talk about what these are NOT.  It’s about NOT making a choice based on another’s judgement.  It’s NOT in the expectation that if you choose something you will receive another’s love or acceptance.

It IS about looking inside first.  It IS about trusting yourself and knowing that the choices you make are because you LOVE you. Simple.

Let’s talk about Emotional Detachment.

To be detached emotionally does NOT mean we have no emotions, or hide our feelings.  It does NOT mean we do not feel love or compassion; it does not mean we are totally indifferent and show no care; it is only that we are not influenced or triggered by our surrounding circumstances, in particular, those wise and wonderful human beings who make up our relationships.

An emotional attachment is a situation where we perceive there to be a win and a lose.  Our emotional body believes, yet again and again, that we are ’supposed’ to receive a certain “high” feeling or positive response – and when it doesn’t occur, our emotions kick in, usually negative.

Perhaps our Ego kicks in because of this perceived loss or negative emotion and it chooses certain actions that bring on more suffering.  Our Ego loves to suffer.  It means IT gets to be in control and can continue to blind our Essence from seeing that in truth we have no need to suffer any longer.  Suffering is an illusion…it’s not something we were meant to create.  But sometimes love is far more feared and suffering more comfortable.

Being responsible for the choices we make is the key.  Imagine being conscious and a witness to what we are choosing so that it is based on our true purpose?  This is an ultimate freedom that we may begin to experience by releasing our personal stakes in life.

So what’s a personal stake?

A personal stake creates a situation quite similar to gambling.  There is a win and a lose.  It is black and white.  You lose some and you win some.  We live in a world of duality and when we have an expectation or perceived experience that we “should” win and NOT lose, then the personal stake is created and controls the outcome.

If only we allowed ourselves a moment to be detached from outside influences, once in a while, we would see the truth.  It means that I am choosing to do things, say things, or be a certain way because it comes from within, not because I think my mother or husband said it’s how I “should” be.  Or even my perceived perception that they are expecting me to be that way and so I act upon it !!!   Crazy stuff.

Having emotional detachment and eliminating personal stakes means having the FREEDOM to choose to create a life of joy and love because THAT is what drives us. Discovering what your values are and living by them.  Joy.  Love.  Passion.  Learning.  Family.  Abundance.  Health.  Spirituality.  Creativity.  Dance.  Children.  Teaching.  The list goes on and on.  There is no perfect value, only yours.  I often get asked “Who’s driving the bus?” when it looks like chaos is about to be unleashed and I’m questioning my life path….but the question I like to ask is “What is driving me?”

Because in reality, WE are NOT driving the bus! We are being driven by our Purpose – which has flow, integrity, love, freedom, beauty, joy, meaning and spirit (and so much more!). Our purpose is driving us even when we don’t think we know what our purpose is!!  BUT life will show you – in many many ways.  Taking conscious action is where we are able to guide the journey.

When we allow ourselves to let go, to truly release OTHERS (be it society, our parents, our siblings, our partners, our stories, our history, our right to have, our right to choose, etc.) and ALL those things OUTside of ourselves, then we begin to choose what, how, when, where and with whom we live our lives and become truly free.  Our purpose begins to show itself more and more.

Now you have the opportunity to eliminate and begin to dissolve the personal stakes you have in your life.  To look at and release the emotional attachments that create suffering.  Detach from the actions of another – in other words, remember that their actions have nothing to do with YOU – and that you hold the key to your freedom.  Allow yourself to be driven by one thing – your Purpose.  BE THE CHANGE.  And if you feel like you still have to ask the question, “What is my Purpose?”, well, at this point it doesn’t really matter.  Trying to figure it out means your Ego only wants more control, not flow.  It will show up, this is inevitable.

So be with the flow  Ride the wave.  Enjoy the ride of life in all its splendour.  Trust in the process.  Love the journey.  Embrace your freedom.  Live your Purpose.

With peace,

Marielle Smith

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